Find Love Again

There was a time when widows and widowers were expected to have long periods of mourning before getting back into the singles scene. You should give yourselves whatever time is sufficient for you. It is not a good idea to jump into dating to fill a void left in your life. You should be ready for company as well as ready to be good company, and willing to broaden your horizons. 
 
Once the cloud has lifted it is normal to feel uncertainty about what the future might hold. How and where do I meet other available singles? What will my children think of me having dates? Should I even take the chance?  Eventually, the lack of intimacy and/or the desire for companionship is the driving force to enter the dating pool again. Below are tips to help you successfully navigate through the dating waters.
 
Feelings of guilt. Feeling a sense of guilt or betrayal when you first start dating is not unusual. As you continue dating, these feelings should subside, especially if you find someone special. If your sense of guilt does not lessen over time, you might want to consider putting dating on hold, it might be a sign that you are not ready.

Talking about the past. Anyone you date is going to be curious about your previous life. Answer questions in any way that makes you feel comfortable, just don’t over do it. If you find you lead your conversations to discussions about how happy your marriage was (or wasn't) or how much you miss your spouse, it may be a sign you are not ready to start a new relationship. Engaging your date in conversation about him or her, rather than about your pain and loss, will reassure them that you are ready to start a new life.

Expect to make mistakes. It may have been years or even decades since you last went on a date, so making a few mistakes is okay while getting your feet wet. Rules and attitudes toward dating have changed over the years and you may feel inadequate. Just remember the basic rules of etiquette will always apply. It might be helpful to pick up a dating book that covers the new attitudes and ways of meeting other availible singles. 
 
Expectations of others. You will probably notice that not everybody understands why you’re dating again or they might think you are dating too soon. You may get the cold shoulder at family functions or you might notice they talk about your deceased spouse in front of your date. Defend your date and don’t allow these folks to make you feel your decision to date is wrong or unethical. All that matters is that you are ready and you don’t have to justify that to anyone.
 
With all the awkwardness and fear involved with dating again, it can also be fulfilling and a lot of fun. There is no reason why widows and widowers shouldn’t enjoy a night out in the company of someone they are attracted to and interested in. Everyone should have the opportunity to enjoy life, isn’t that one of the reasons we are all here? So, get out there and start living again!

                          Widowed Dating