Surviving Infidelity
An affair can be one of the most devastating things to happen in a marriage but it does not have to mean the end of it. Initially you may feel as if your world has collapsed and see no possible way to save your relationship. Understanding why the affair happened in the first place is crucial to surviving the betrayal. Both parties also must be committed to rebuilding the relationship and getting to the root of the problems for healing to begin.
People have different views on what defines infidelity. Many people feel that simply being attracted to someone outside the marriage is betrayal, even if the attraction is not acted on. Others feel that intimate chats with the opposite sex, on social media sites for example, is a form of infidelity. What is considered infidelity may be different for every couple but as a general rule, a person who is having an affair has a strong sexual attraction for someone other than their spouse. Especially if they feel emotionally closer to this other person and keep the relationship and their feelings a secret.
When you discover that your partner has been involved in an affair, there are steps you should take for your own well being. Both, you and your partner will fluctuate with feelings of anger, shock, embarrassment, hopelessness, guilt and sorrow. The shame of the situation may compel you to hibernate and become reclusive, wallowing in your pain, but this is not a good idea. It is important to get support from trusted friends and loved ones. You can also discuss your situation with your church leader or seek help form a counselor. Remember you are not the only one this has happened too, seek comfort and support form others.
People have different views on what defines infidelity. Many people feel that simply being attracted to someone outside the marriage is betrayal, even if the attraction is not acted on. Others feel that intimate chats with the opposite sex, on social media sites for example, is a form of infidelity. What is considered infidelity may be different for every couple but as a general rule, a person who is having an affair has a strong sexual attraction for someone other than their spouse. Especially if they feel emotionally closer to this other person and keep the relationship and their feelings a secret.
When you discover that your partner has been involved in an affair, there are steps you should take for your own well being. Both, you and your partner will fluctuate with feelings of anger, shock, embarrassment, hopelessness, guilt and sorrow. The shame of the situation may compel you to hibernate and become reclusive, wallowing in your pain, but this is not a good idea. It is important to get support from trusted friends and loved ones. You can also discuss your situation with your church leader or seek help form a counselor. Remember you are not the only one this has happened too, seek comfort and support form others.
Take some time for yourself, away from your spouse and the situation. Jumping into a heated discussion with accusations flying can lead to more hurt feeling and possibly the destruction of what’s left of your relationship. It’s hard to back away but, you may be surprised at how your perspective changes after the stress of the betrayal has had time to dissipate.There are many reasons why partners stray from a marriage. Understanding why an affair happened is the first step in the recovery process. Partners stray from a marriage because they feel they are not getting something from their relationship or due to emotional issues. The reasons vary and could include such issues as low self-esteem, fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, retaliation, sex addiction, romance addiction, immaturity, and life transitions (i.e. birth of a child).
Recovering from an affair in your marriage can be very tough but not impossible. It will be an ongoing process and both individuals must be committed to building back a strong and trusting relationship. To read more about how to save your relationship after an affair get a copy of Affair Repair. This amazing book will provide you with the insight to get back what you lost and make your marriage better than it was before the affair.
Surviving Infidelity
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