You're divorced and dating. It happens, all of the time. Nobody enters into marriage expecting that one day they’ll find themselves single again, with their ex-wife or ex-husband a part of the tapestry of their past. You get married and hope for the happily ever after. Yet here you are, dipping your toe into the icy waters of the dating pool once again.

You realize, now that you’re entering this world that is exciting, energizing, and frightening all at the same time that the world has changed. Being divorced and dating again can make you feel like you’re a school-age kid awkwardly trying to navigate the opposite sex. The rules are different and technology has made finding a match much more complicated, and yet easier at the same time.

There are countless websites and quick-date services, personal ads and much more that you can get lost in the process. Going to your local nightclub or bar is still the same, but you’re older now and you know what you want out of life and, more importantly, out of a partner. You’ve lived with someone for many years and you understand about peccadilloes and quirks; there are some you simply have no interest in enduring any longer. This is a great, positive realization and step.

When you sign up for one of the more responsible dating sites, such as Chemistry.com, or Match.com, you can target the kinds of people you want to meet. Their age, eye color, height, professional status, or any other attribute that’s important. You can even match personalities to a certain level. It’s important to be honest about yourself, but don’t assume that your matches have been completely honest with their profile, either. Being divorced and dating once again can lead some people to exaggerate or under-emphasize certain characteristics about them because they’re afraid by being completely honest, they’ll never find a date.

You can also look for local singles groups in your area. These are great, no pressure ways for other like-minded singles to meet in a public setting and see if there’s any spark on which to build. Use the Internet to help you locate these groups, or check the newspaper classified ads.

Once you’ve begun to find dates, there are some things you should keep in mind. When you go out for your first date, try to avoid dinner or a movie, or a combination of the two. Keep that first meeting or encounter simple are brief. Coffee or a glass of wine is a good idea. Anything longer than an hour can feel like a job interview and this is the last thing you want it to feel like. Being divorced and dating, you will be particular and critical of your date, so keeping them short will afford you ample time to see if there’s a connection and if it’s something you want to pursue without investing a great amount of time or effort.